Tesla – Automatic Parking – Really?

My Tesla has automatic parking - really? Are we all so incapable of maneuvering our cars into a parking space that we need a computer to do it? Or have people just gotten that lazy?

In my 4 experiences of backing my X into a slot between 2 cars I have had 3 near wrecks. Read on because it wasn’t the cars on either side of me.

Attempt 1 - I panicked and stomped on the brake aborting the mission. It was like I was watching a teenager behind the wheel cautiously and ever so slowly turn the steering wheel with their tongue out between their lips and eyes glued to one mirror.

Just a reminder to new readers, I have well over a million miles and can park an 18 wheeler or a horse trailer on a dime.

Attempt 2 - Out behind a strip mall where only employees park there were several slots between 2 parked cars available. I slowly pulled past the first space - no “P” appeared. I create past the second slot. Still no “P” appeared. Frustrated but not quitting, I past the third space and the “P” appeared on the dash.

I position and press “start” but then abort when a car out of nowhere appears without patience wedges his car with the clear message that he wants out. I avoid the hit and allow him by. With no one in site, I again press “start” and video the whole event. I’m impressed with the ability but still question the purpose.

(See video below)

Attempt 3 - It’s time to impress the wife so out to dinner and the hunt for a space to auto park. Wow! Right in front and the “P” appears. Hitting “start” the X thinks and then moves with me silently coaching. The left rear corner gets too close to the parked car as my gaze into the driver’s side mirror predicted an hour earlier. The X shifts into D, turns the wheels and pulls forward. My eyes lift to see a line of cars looking at me and wondering why they let old folks out driving fancy cars when they can’t even park it.

Abort, redirect and park all while mumbling apologies and avoiding the upturned eyeballs of the unimpressed wife.

Attempt 4 - In the furtherest lane of a large grocery store parking lot I try again. After craning my head looking for any traffic, I position, get the “P” and press start. A simple one step backup is heading for the Tesla two step when the hairs on the back of my neck alert me to danger. I had never seen the car on the other side of the lane backing out of her space. And she never saw me.

Curses, foiled again. Abort, honk and hustle out of the way.

I think Tesla needs to practice more. As for parallel parking, I just never need it out of the city. However the magical “P” often appears like it did today - with not a curb, parked cars or parking spaces in sight.

In the end the X parked perfectly. The image on the screen is crooked but if you look in the mirrors, both sides are equidistant and parallel.